Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I hate my job? And lots of weddings to mention...

It's been a while since my last post. It's been so nice out that my lunches have been taken up with walking and enjoying the decent Newfoundland weather. Rare it is where we get 20-25 degree weather consistently.

Today I wanted to talk about how I hate my job.

Now, before you tune into a different blog and dismissing me as another fool lamenting his poor career choice, read through, and you shall be surprised.

Now, I don't actually hate my job.Yesterday I did. Today I do not. I guess it's the difference between recognizing a bad day and a good day and actual loathing for one's choice of income generation.

To give you a bit of insight, let me lay out the playing field. I work in a pressure packed job where "nearly" everything runs through my hands that concerns the business.

(I'm doing my best to be vague as to not actually say what I do and where I do it... if you are one of my co-workers, relax... I know you work your hearts out too, and my head ISN'T that big, this is the simple truth that we've all said before)

Anyway, yesterday turned out to be one of those days where there just happened to be a glut of work that had to be out in a short time frame. Now, let me tell you a little bit about me and my work habits. I like to be busy, but if I get overwhelmed I tend to get a little "antsy". This load of work yesterday felt like I was getting hit by a tidal wave and being told "good luck, get it done!". (Never, EVER said to me by my boss, this is just me relating how I felt. My bosses would NEVER say this). So, my blood pressure rose, my mind scattered, and I made a mistake because of it, which magnified the situation more.

Making a mistake at work can be debilitating for someone like me. I get anxious. My whole life revolves around my meek salary and if I were to lose it, I'd lose pretty much everything beyond the love of my wife. I feel like a prisoner to it at times... I put a lot of pressure upon myself to make sure I perform and my anxiety builds out of that pressure. If I don't perform, I'm afraid I'd lose my job. Crazy, I know. I'm actually a prisoner to that pressure, not the job itself. It's not like I'm sinking the business, I made a mistake that might have cost 6 bucks. I think I should be medicated. :P

I happen to be one of the luckiest people I know when it comes to employment. There is a small group of us, and all the people I work with ANYONE would be proud to call "friend". I have the young guy who I knew before I took the job. I have the older guy who, while cranky, is brilliant at what he does and I learn from his experience on a daily basis. I have a couple of folks who are around my age and are dealing with similar issues in life that I deal with, and have similar interests to myself. I've never felt so close to my co-workers in my entire adult career.

But those bad days... spurred on by my own anxiety, make me say in the spur of the moment "I hate my job". I have always had the problem of not thinking when I get anxious, it's like verbal diarrhea. So yesterday, I said "I hate my job". Today I say "I'm grateful for my job". I'm not even having a good day today, it's just a day. I have to learn to be able to control my emotions a little better and everything, even that occasional mistake, will take care of itself.

I am forever grateful for my job.


My Xbox time has gone down considerably the past month or two, with the good weather and the wife keeping me away. My wife has played and destroyed what was once know as "Lego Harry Potter", obliterating the ingame percentage counter and achievement list in a manner of about 2 weeks. I've managed to find myself copies of Crackdown 2 and Dante's Inferno (love that "trade swindle" >> see older posts<<) but both are really just sitting on the shelf. I've played a lot of Dragon Quest 9 on Nintendo DS in it's stead, but still not near my usual game time.


Many congratulations go out to good friends Jay and Jennifer, who got married this past weekend.


Many congratz go out to Joby and Amanda as well, friends who will be taking the marriage dive this coming friday. Still hope I can get that time off! :D


In closing... just because you have a bad day, doesn't mean that your job sucks. Look at the job, look at yourself, and see how YOU can make your day better through relaxing and keeping at it. Don't make yourself a prisoner to stress.


video games are great stress relievers. :D

See you next time!


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