Review: Sucker Punch

Basic synopsis from Warner Bros.:

"Sucker Punch" is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. Unrestrained by the boundaries of time and place, she is free to go where her mind takes her, and her incredible adventures blur the lines between what's real and what is imaginary. She has been locked away against her will, but Babydoll (Emily Browning) has not lost her will to survive. Determined to fight for her freedom, she urges four other young girls-the reluctant Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), the outspoken Rocket (Jena Malone), the street-smart Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and the fiercely loyal Amber (Jamie Chung)-to band together and try to escape a terrible fate at the hands of their captors, Blue (Oscar Isaac) and Madam Gorski (Carla Gugino), before the mysterious High Roller (Jon Hamm) comes for Babydoll. Led by Babydoll, the girls engage in fantastical warfare against everything from samurais to serpents, with a virtual arsenal at their disposal. Together, they must decide what they are willing to sacrifice in order to stay alive. But with the help of a Wise Man (Scott Glenn), their unbelievable journey-if they succeed-will set them free.. -- (C) Warner Bros

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Before you sit down to see this film (coming out on Blu Ray, DVD and Digital Download June 28th) you really need to let go of any sense of what the film is, was, or what was said about it. This is a movie that one needs to see to believe. Is it that bad? Is it art? Is it a gigantic mess thrown at film upon an epic scale, hoping to lure the people who like to watch trains wreck? 

Ladies, if you had any interest in seeing this film, the best you can hope for is being owed one after you've sat through it with your significant other. Be prepared to be owed... oh... 2 chick flicks and a back rub, with breakfast in bed thrown on top. This is a movie solely made for the boys. If you want to get out of it, pretend to be the man sitting on the bench in the mall waiting for you to get out of the girlie clothing store. This is a movie about young women in skimpy clothing swinging ninja swords and shooting bullets at monsters, zombie nazis, and robots, all in a level by level progression similar to a video game. They do this through the imagination of a girl who's sultry dancing is so amazing that everybody in the room forgets that anything in the world is happening, especially the scantily clad girlies picking their pockets for the things they need to escape the asylum.

Sound ridiculous yet? 

I don't think I've seen fatter lips on any one woman in my life compared to Babydoll (portrayed by Emily Browning), the lead girlie of the bunch. They are so thick and round and focused on in the movie, it's almost like lip-porn and you think she'll actuallu need a wonderbra for them for fear that she'll fall on her face. Throughout the movie, she does land heavily a number of times, crushing cement and concrete blocks, no doubt from the weight she bears upon her porceline face. 

The other girls featured in this romp are all equally portrayed, with Vanessa Hudgens (ironically named Blondie) bearing the hair that is similar to the mane of a raven haired lion, Abbie Cornish the wildly savage "Sweet Pea" and her saucy mouthed little sister "Rocket" (played by Jena Malone) both acting like they need whips, chains, rubber, and a Rihanna song to get them through the day, and Jenna Chung, the prototypical polite, cute Asian girl Amber. This movie is a who's who of teenage boys wet dreams.


Take away the dirty girlie aspect of the film and you do get a very well filmed style piece. Giant Samurai's, Clockwork Zombie Nazi's, killer robots, dragons, you name it, all were wonderfully brought to life by Watchmen director Zack Snyder. You are thrown into a gritty and grim world of post war America, where the men are boss and the women hate them for it. This whole film screams hate at the way women were treated and portrayed in the 50's and 60's. The film is eye openingly awesome to look at, with gigantic set pieces and surprisingly credible choreographed fight scenes. The leads all did their jobs and did them amazingly well, in particular Browning, who does not look out of place at all in her school girl outfit slaying demons and zombies with style and grace.


This movie is very loud, with a rocking soundtrack playing through most every scene. It truly helps the viewer get into the scenes and bring them along for the ride. Think of that feeling you get when you are on a roller coaster. There's no real particular "sound" but there is unbelievably loud noise all around you. The wind in your ears, the white noise of screaming people all around you, the carts on the tracks. After a while it all blends into the experience that is a roller coaster. It is all very similar in this film. After one or two scenes, you don't actually hear the music, you are just immersed into each scene as if you are almost there.


This is a movie not for the feint of heart. As mentioned earlier, girls, wait outside. Let the men go in and enjoy the film. Some ladies, carry tissues. This is a loud, male fantasy induced slogfest, with nothing for you, beyond teaching you what your man might like in the bedroom. Guys, get ready to owe the women a favor or two for this one, but be more than willing and ready to do it too. This is one for you.


Score: 7 out of 10...

...9 out of 10 if you are a pervert. 

C